FLETCHER – In Search Of The Antidote | 365 Days Of Inspiring Media

Capitol Records

Release Date: March 22nd 2024

Reviewed by: Joshua Andre

FLETCHER– In Search Of The Antidote (Amazon mp3/iTunes)

Track Listing:

Maybe I Am
Doing Better
Ego Talking
Lead Me On
Two Things Can Be True
Eras Of Us
Attached To You
Crush
Pretending
Joyride
Antidote

I’ve been reviewing for more than 10 years. It’s been a joy to write about albums that have resonated with me and to voice my opinions about them. But as I am approaching my mid-thirties (boy, that’s a reality check right there!), the time has come to scale back a bit. To write about the albums that have really resonated with me and not just ‘every album under the sun’. Although I’ve said it before; I serious this time- probably from June or July this year onwards, I’ll stop listening to any ‘new’ artist (Christian and mainstream!) unless there’s a significant buzz about them that I absolutely cannot ignore. But as this is my last few months of probably exploring all the artists that I can and that I can probably handle in terms of being able to resonate with (simply because there’s way too much music artists out there to care about each and every single one of them!); here goes me reviewing yet another artist whom I wouldn’t normally. American pop singer Cari Fletcher (known as FLETCHER) released her new album In Search Of the Antidote this past week. Cari is similar in style to Tate McRae, Olivia Rodrigo, Loren Gray and Lauren Spencer Smith; and though her music is most likely pitched at half a generation or a full generation younger than myself, the new project In Search Of The Antidote still packs a punch and still speaks about relatable and relevant issues for people of all ages. Music-wise, Cari may not be in your wheelhouse (pop but with an angsty rock edge!), but I reckon give her a chance, and see what millennials and gen Z will ultimately be listening to and talking about.

On the heels of her commercially and critically acclaimed debut full length album Girl Of My Dreams from 2022, Cari has delivered a powerful follow-up, with topics of love, loss, feelings of self-loathing and self-deprecation, mental health and anxiety all the focus on a well-rounded and lyrically strong collection of engaging and captivating songs that are certainly NSFW (not safe to be played at work!), but still worth a spin, just to get in the mind of a young person from America to see what they’re dealing with on a day to day basis. Rock opener “Maybe I Am” speaks about the negative voices in your head telling you lies that you’re worthless and useless and hopeless, and you almost believing it, and admitting that though ‘…you say that I’m a crazy bitch, I’m sick, I’m permanently numb, you say that I’m a narcissist as if I haven’t heard that one, you say I’m ruining my life on purpose just because I can, maybe I, maybe I am…’, as Cari doesn’t give us a remedy to quell the voices in our head, but ultimately gives us an avenue to express our real emotions, as we understand that sometimes, admitting our negative emotions can be healing and freeing and therapeutic, and figuring out how to quell those feelings of doubt and anxiety is the next step after admitting that they’re there. And as Cari herself has relayed: “…I released a song called “Becky’s So Hot,” which, you know, did a lot on the internet, and I remembered in that time I was reading so much about myself online and comments and opinions and what people were saying about me and I really wanted to write from the perspective of like, okay, what would it feel like if I did believe what everybody said about me was true? What if all those things were true? Like, what if I felt those things in my body? What would it feel like? And this song came out of it that’s like, maybe I am – maybe I am all those things and sort of just this commentary on like, what if we believed everything that the world had to say… it’s just about being able to take everything with a grain of salt and be able to receive feedback – while also having a strong center of gravity and knowing yourself and who you really are…”

“Doing Better” is a track where Cari fools and kids herself into believing that she is doing better in the wake of her sudden and less-than-amicable break-up with her ex, outlining that ‘…I’m doing better, I don’t know if you remember when I told you in December that you wouldn’t recognize me, after the glow up, I was learnin’ how to grow up, had a wet dream then I woke up, I was on a stage with Miley, I felt like I was flyin’, I felt the stars alignin’, I always thought that if I ever got this high, I’d like it, I’m doing better, I’ve been lookin’ for my center, but my tummy still hurts, why does better feel worse?… smilin’ on the outside, cryin’ on the inside, you would never know ’cause I’m posing with my good side…’. As Cari reminds us that breakups are hard, and that the best thing to cure a breakup is time (and not dating again or having immediate hookups and sex with random people to hide the intense emotions that you are feeling!), we are encouraged to be honest with our emotions, and in that way we’re better equipped to handle any intense mood swings or anything out of the ordinary that we may feel; while the savage and brutally honest “Ego Talking” is a harrowing rock song about Cari confronting her ex and asking them if their latest girlfriend is better than her. Envy and jealousy is present all throughout this track; and as Cari ardently relays that she’s not over her ex yet; it’s clear that some part of her hopes that the next relationship her ex is in fails horribly. And the next one until they come crawling back to her. But really, that’s just her ‘ego’ talking…

“Lead Me On”, a powerful and pulsating pop/rock melody and the album’s lead single, speaks about wanting to hang onto some semblance of any ‘broken’ relationship and hoping the other person ‘leads them on’, as some version of a dysfunctional relationship is better than nothing at all. But the melody can also be singing to God or a family member or a future version of yourself, where Cari is envious of the path this other person has taken, and longs to be in that same path as well and wants them to ‘lead her on’ to the same path and into the path of a fulfilled a satisfied life. “Two Things Can Be True” is probably where we the general public who aren’t initiated or aware about Cari’s music and her story, realise that Cari is queer and is singing about falling for a straight girl in this song, and concluding that she can love the girl from afar while the other girl loves her husband/boyfriend. And though I personally have been taught by my parents, by the church, but society, to not to listen to ‘queer music’ because it’s not what Jesus wants us to hear; what I’ve found through this album and this song in particular, is that Cari is just like all of us. She’s different, she’s going through life as best she can, and she’s voicing her troubles and issues in the same way a straight singer has and does. As far as I know, she’s not flamboyant and over-the-top in her music like Sam Smith or Lil Nas X (and that is something I won’t ever listen to ever!), but perhaps separating the art from the artist in this case is necessary? I mean, Cari is indeed an eloquent songwriter and a singer, and shall we not listen to her music just because of who she loves, when she sings about some of the same things that we all do? Love, life, hope, dreams, death, faith, heartbreak, inner turmoil, anxiety, feelings of guilt and abandonment… and everything else in between!

“Eras Of Us” is inspired by Taylor Swift’s recent world Eras Tour, and also is a personal standout song on the album; where Cari recounts how this standout song was written: I mean, this started this new era, right? And I was inspired by running to a certain someone at [Taylor Swift’s] Eras tour… I was lucky enough to go see Taylor at the Eras Tour, and I bumped into an ex there and [we] had no idea each other was going to be there. Once I started feeling all these feelings and realizing that we were both at this concert like scream-singing the lyrics to an artist that has narrated so much of my journey, of my falling in love, of my breakups and both of us [were] there in agonizing pain, yelling these songs at this artist that is just so incredible, it kind of hit me in such a way. I went to the studio the next day and I was like this has to be a song. You don’t run into your ex-girlfriend at a Taylor Swift concert and not turn it into a damn lyric… It came from a reflection and a positive light and also just a way for me to close a chapter. It felt like this sort of like full-circle moment of like, OK, I just want to sing my final piece here. “Attached To You” speaks about Cari’s commitment issues and her fear that her relationships will work out and that it will be a lifestyle change for her and her family and her friends (and so she somewhat self-sabotages the relationships!); while the confronting “Crush” speaks about whether having intense relationships or friendships where everything is ‘crazy’ and ‘fiery’, is actually healthy or beneficial for us at all.

“Pretending”, a rock melody where Cari romanticises the ideal partner and wonders whether she will ever find the ‘one’, or whether one of her exes is ‘the one’, or whether she is ‘pretending’ with who she thinks is ‘the one’ but really isn’t, is a song where we’re forced to examine all of our relationships to see whether they’re destructive or actually helpful and healthy for us. “Joyride” speaks about the intense moment at the beginning of a burgeoning relationship where two people are in that ‘honeymoon’ phase of being in love. Cari then ends the heartfelt and thought-provoking album with the quasi-worship-like-title track- the clear album highlight. “Antidote” is a melody that, just like Guy Sebastian’s and Sam Fischer’s smash hit single from a few weeks ago, speaks about the search for something higher and deeper and bigger than yourselves. And as Cari realises and outlines and concludes that the search for her antidote has led her to find something or someone (and it’s not disclosed in the song who the ‘you’ is!); the song can mean anything to anyone, and that’s the beauty of music; and that’s the power of God working through music- to draw people closer to Himself.

I know for a fact that FLETCHER’s In Search Of The Antidote isn’t created for my benefit. Cari is a queer woman, and this album is either for the people who are Cari’s age (late 20’s-30-ish) and people who can identify with her struggles of a young girl dating in America. Or the album is for the LGBTQIA+ people of America. And I’m not either of them. Save for the album ender which is the title track which is about finding someone or something solid that you can rely on, as well as a few songs like “Maybe I Am”, “Doing Better”, “Lead Me On” and “Eras Of Us” (is that around about half the album?); probably all of the songs are about the breakdown of relationships- and I’m not in a relationship nor have I ever been, so I theoretically shouldn’t like this project. Yet there is something about Cari and her music and her songwriting craft that is instantly likeable, and maybe it’s the openness and honesty. Cari is encouraging and inspiring, as she reminds us that she is real, authentic, and honest, and as she reminds us that she’s a flawed individual that can sometimes intentionally or unintentionally hurt people for whatever reason. Subjectively, In Search Of the Antidote may not be for us. But objectively, can you see the appeal for an album like this or will you just walk on by? In Search Of the Antidote speaks about real issues and about real feelings. And so, I encourage you to check out FLETCHER’s music. You may not listen to it in a few years as your enjoyability of it may have waned. But as of right at this current moment, In Search Of The Antidote needs to be listened to, and Cari reminds us of the power of honesty and vulnerability. What is next for FLETCHER? A live album? An acoustic album? A Christmas album? Here’s hoping the next album is just and profound as this one and maybe even more so.

In my creative processes, I never really set out with, ‘Okay, now I’m gonna go in and I’m writing for the second album.’ The music reveals itself to me; the album reveals itself to me because it is something that already exists inside of me. Obviously, there are the [writing and studio] sessions, but the songs just kind of reveal themselves. ‘Antidote’ was one of the last on the project, and it was through that song that I was like, ‘Oh, that’s what this whole time has been.’

The antidote for me has been many different things. Over the course of my life, it’s been women, and the road, and relationships, and fans, and stages, and tequila. And then I got quite sick last year and was on a pretty intense health journey. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. So last year, the antidote was very different. For me, it was healing. It was looking for the literal answers and medicine – that was the search. So the album was all of that. It was the search of finding my true self, my true emotions, my feelings, my healing. And it felt like it just perfectly encapsulated the record.

I think what I found is that the ultimate antidote is love and all of its infinite manifestations. Ultimately, it’s self-love. In the past, a lot of my worth has been through external validation and external applause and external things. And I think on all my other records and albums in the past, I’ve always been exploring myself through the lens of relationships, kind of pointing my fingers in a lot of ways [outwards] – ‘You did this’ and ‘You knew this’. On this album, the finger is pointing back at me. And it’s a deeper self-reflection than anything I’ve ever put out before. That’s when you really begin to find the real healing – when you ask yourself those questions that just get you closer to the truth and core of who you are and why we’re here.

I think because I’ve been on such a journey and such a search of what was going on with my body over this last year, it has brought me so close to my body, being hyper-aware and hyper-attuned. I’d pushed it so far past its breaking point that I was like, ‘No, we have to listen to this thing, to this vessel.’ And so I’ve just become so hyper-attuned to feelings and emotions and the way that we store energy, we store emotion, we store feelings in our body, and when we don’t feel those things through and process them, they get stuck. And they fester physically – I really believe that. And so for me, through the songwriting process is the recognition of the feeling, is giving it the space. It’s me going to the studio and being like, ‘Hey, my ego needs the mic on this on this today – I’m feeling an insecurity and feeling like an icky jealousy, and I need to just verbalise it.’ And then ego gets to have the mic and writes [the song] ‘Ego Talking’.